I feel so blessed to have two happy and healthy children and I'm glad that I got to experience both pregnancies and births differently.
I experienced having pre-eclampsia, a condition that could well have killed us both. I was very lucky I got to the hospital when I did.
I experienced a Caesarean section.
I experienced having a premature baby.
I experienced not being able to hold my baby as soon as he was born.
I experienced a two week hospital stay as they tried to regulate my blood pressure.
I experienced visiting my baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and only being able to touch him through the holes in the incubator.
I experienced getting discharged from hospital without him and having to travel back to see him every day.
We were told that if we were to have another that I would be at risk of developing pre-eclampsia again but I didn't care.
I experienced taking aspirin every day from 6 weeks to 36 weeks pregnant to try and keep it at bay.
I experienced weekly hospital/midwife check ups so they could keep a close eye on me.
I experienced countless blood pressure checks and God knows how many urine samples I did.
I experienced a Monofer infusion as my iron levels were so low.
I experienced cervix checks.
I experienced countless blood tests and cannulas (me - who hates needles!). The pre-eclampsia symptoms eventually did appear so I experienced an induction.
I experienced having my waters broken.
I experienced contractions.
I experienced a natural birth.
I experienced having ragged membranes and a retained placenta and I experienced needing to go to theatre to have it manually removed.
I experienced a 2nd degree tear and needing perineal stitches.
I experienced having to lean forward when I went for a wee because it stung so bad.
I experienced being scared to go for a poo for weeks after pushing a baby out.
I experienced not being able to sit down properly for a few weeks.
I told Chris that it had put me off. It was too sore. And no doubt all my subsequent pregnancies would be equally as 'under the microscope' and I didn't think I could do it again.
But I look at both of my children and the love I have for them is immense.